We can't quite call our culture a "hookup culture" because some religions and lifestyles do not accept "casual sexual encounters." However, most other lifestyles do see nothing wrong with them. They can be great for a person sometimes, and horrible for a person sometimes. Sometimes a "casual sexual encounter" can invigorate a person, or sometimes it can lead to two people "catching feelings" but "not wanting to put a label on it" and DEFINITELY NOT having a straight answer for "so, what are you guys, anyways?" Sound like I have a little bit of experience with this?

The answer to all of the shades of grey this culture brings about is the same thing that answers all the questions in relationships: communication and honesty.

The problem with our society is that everyone wants to have their cake and eat it too, in this sense. People want the physical, and say they don't want the emotional, but end up wanting the emotional in the end. However, they don't want to lose their freedom. So, instead of casually hooking up or casually dating, they end up stringing others along and unknowingly hurting others.

Hooking up can be very enriching and refreshing if you are secure about your intentions and what you want to do. However, be flexible. If you end up catching those pesky feelings, don't ignore it. Chances are, the other person is catching those feelings, too. Some wise words a friend told me one time are: "Don't not date someone (and miss something totally awesome) just because you want to be single." I may just be speaking from experience, but it may be a lot less stressful to be monogynous with the one person you really like and give them your all, than to be stringing along many people at once.

That brings up another point. Know what kind of single you want to be. I didn't know there were many types of single until I was single for an extended amount of time and longed to be the other type. Type 1 is totally alone, focusing on YOURSELF, your work, your mental and physical health, etc. Type 2 is hooking up and having things here and there. Since you're single, you can easily break things off with your flings and focus on you, if you wanted to revert back to type 1.

Things to consider when in a hook-up situation:

1. If we stop hooking up, will it get awkward?

2.  How much do I like this person?

3. Can I see myself wanting to date this person?

4. Do we go out on "dates" to get food, or worse, got to IKEA together?

5. Can I see myself NEVER wanting to date this person?

6. Do you smile when people ask you about them?

7. Do you think about them while you can't sleep at night?

If you answered yes, or a lot, to 2,3,4,6,7 then step back, be honest with yourself, then be honest with them. Talk about where this is going and see if it can go further. If they don't want it to, break it off because you're going to end up hurt.

Long story short, don't lie to yourself. If you're emotionally attached, be honest with yourself and them. However, if you're totally fine with pure physicality, proceed, my friend. As the frat guy in every movie every would say, get ittttt. However, get it with caution of your feelings.

What's your take on hook-up culture?
Any funny/crazy/sad/ romantic stories?

Ah, love, like, being smitten, catching feelings, name it whatever you'd like. No one can escape it. No matter how under the radar you try to fly, you're either going to like someone, someone will like you, or you will have multiple suitors/ multiple suitees. Love is one of the best and the worst things. Since January, I've been in a constant struggle between trying to avoid men and trying to pursue men. I wished that the things I had going on would magically end, but at the same time I would be sad if they ended. Why do we feel this constant need for companionship? Why is the normal comforting words "someone else will come along", not "now you have some time to focus on yourself." Why can't we just be happy to be single?

All of these questions I have been struggling with along with some "boy drama" these past few months. Talking about this kind of stuff with my mother and girlfriends is great and therapeutic, however, I thought it would be even better to talk it out with my girls on my blog! I'm starting a new Love/Romance series on my blog called "What's Love Got To Do With It." Because I've learned that love has a LOT to do with it, most of the time.

What's Love Got To Do With It 1: Your First Relationship Is Not Your Last

This post may gear towards a younger crowd. Actually, it does. This post is a PSA to teenage girls to college undergrads. YOU'RE SO YOUNG! Do you know how long your parents have been together? Probably like 25+ years, that's a long time! Yes, I understand the concept of high school sweethearts. Sometimes, they do last. Those high school sweethearts that last, however, stayed together because they actually fit together and truly love each other. The couples that stay together merely because they don't know anything else, or don't think they can find anyone else, are the relationships that eventually end, and not in a good way.

There's such an epidemic out there of these types of relationships. You know when you see one, too. Just like when two people have been "shipped", an outside source can sense the chemistry between two people way better than the two people actually can. This works both ways. I've been in both ends of the spectrum. When it comes to matters of the heart, others know me way better than myself. The same people have told me to break up and get together with someone. I've followed their advice both times, and both times it's worked out.

You are young, independent, millennial men and women.  If a relationship is dragging you down, and you question why you're with that person, just end it! Your future self will thank you for the breath of fresh air it just took. We are barely even a quarter done with our lives. We are in the supposedly best time of our lives. If a family is your priority, then fine, that's your priority and more power to you. I know that my career is my main goal right now, and I won't let anyone stop me. 

My freshmen year of college, I was in a bad relationship that really put a strain on my experience at school: socially, academically, physically, mentally, and emotionally. I got to really dark places in my head sometimes, all because I was constantly told I wasn't good enough. I was stopped from attending many social events and I was even doubting my career goals. However, I just couldn't leave. The pain was subtle but strong. I almost broke free during last summer, however I was convinced otherwise.

However, I was finally realizing that I was tired of the sneaking around, mood swings, late night crying sessions, self-doubt, and time taken away from other priorities. However, like said before, someone else had to tell me to leave. After almost two years of being unhappy, I finally left. It was a very hard thing to do, however it was worth it. I'm still taking breaths of fresh air every day.

The main reason I stayed was because it was my first relationship, and I thought it was forever. I spent my time imagining my miserable life with this person, and preparing myself for it. After that relationship, and unfortunately still now to a point, I saw relationships as a trap. To me, they either ended in peril or never ended in lukewarm love for each other for the rest of your life. However, once I got back out in the game, I realized that relationships are a lot more expendable, especially in college. Life is short, and so are relationships.

What's the story of your first relationship?

What are your thoughts on this?