What's Love Got To Do With It? NEW SERIES

May 20, 2015

Ah, love, like, being smitten, catching feelings, name it whatever you'd like. No one can escape it. No matter how under the radar you try to fly, you're either going to like someone, someone will like you, or you will have multiple suitors/ multiple suitees. Love is one of the best and the worst things. Since January, I've been in a constant struggle between trying to avoid men and trying to pursue men. I wished that the things I had going on would magically end, but at the same time I would be sad if they ended. Why do we feel this constant need for companionship? Why is the normal comforting words "someone else will come along", not "now you have some time to focus on yourself." Why can't we just be happy to be single?

All of these questions I have been struggling with along with some "boy drama" these past few months. Talking about this kind of stuff with my mother and girlfriends is great and therapeutic, however, I thought it would be even better to talk it out with my girls on my blog! I'm starting a new Love/Romance series on my blog called "What's Love Got To Do With It." Because I've learned that love has a LOT to do with it, most of the time.

What's Love Got To Do With It 1: Your First Relationship Is Not Your Last

This post may gear towards a younger crowd. Actually, it does. This post is a PSA to teenage girls to college undergrads. YOU'RE SO YOUNG! Do you know how long your parents have been together? Probably like 25+ years, that's a long time! Yes, I understand the concept of high school sweethearts. Sometimes, they do last. Those high school sweethearts that last, however, stayed together because they actually fit together and truly love each other. The couples that stay together merely because they don't know anything else, or don't think they can find anyone else, are the relationships that eventually end, and not in a good way.

There's such an epidemic out there of these types of relationships. You know when you see one, too. Just like when two people have been "shipped", an outside source can sense the chemistry between two people way better than the two people actually can. This works both ways. I've been in both ends of the spectrum. When it comes to matters of the heart, others know me way better than myself. The same people have told me to break up and get together with someone. I've followed their advice both times, and both times it's worked out.

You are young, independent, millennial men and women.  If a relationship is dragging you down, and you question why you're with that person, just end it! Your future self will thank you for the breath of fresh air it just took. We are barely even a quarter done with our lives. We are in the supposedly best time of our lives. If a family is your priority, then fine, that's your priority and more power to you. I know that my career is my main goal right now, and I won't let anyone stop me. 

My freshmen year of college, I was in a bad relationship that really put a strain on my experience at school: socially, academically, physically, mentally, and emotionally. I got to really dark places in my head sometimes, all because I was constantly told I wasn't good enough. I was stopped from attending many social events and I was even doubting my career goals. However, I just couldn't leave. The pain was subtle but strong. I almost broke free during last summer, however I was convinced otherwise.

However, I was finally realizing that I was tired of the sneaking around, mood swings, late night crying sessions, self-doubt, and time taken away from other priorities. However, like said before, someone else had to tell me to leave. After almost two years of being unhappy, I finally left. It was a very hard thing to do, however it was worth it. I'm still taking breaths of fresh air every day.

The main reason I stayed was because it was my first relationship, and I thought it was forever. I spent my time imagining my miserable life with this person, and preparing myself for it. After that relationship, and unfortunately still now to a point, I saw relationships as a trap. To me, they either ended in peril or never ended in lukewarm love for each other for the rest of your life. However, once I got back out in the game, I realized that relationships are a lot more expendable, especially in college. Life is short, and so are relationships.

What's the story of your first relationship?

What are your thoughts on this?

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