Being a girlboss is a major topic of discussion right now, especially with the #MeToo movement and feminism in general. Although I do find some problem with the actual word "girlboss", because it sounds like when women become bosses they can't just be bosses, they have it have a cute name tied to it, and that a girlboss is a lesser version a  boss or "manboss"? There's also the whole gender binary and stereotyping thing - but hey, that's a whole other post.

We have a girlboss in all of us. Rather, we are all bosses. Some of our potential is more evident, some of us need to dig a little deeper to tap into our girlboss potential. I do think that the notion is a great move towards gender equality, and that it inspired women to step out of the comfort zone that society has taught them. I can personally attest that as women, we're taught to not bother people and to put others in front of ourselves. Sometimes the best self care are small habits that we can pick up to put ourselves first. I put some easy, tangible girlboss "moves" that we can start practicing NOW to eventually reach out girlboss goals!

1. Time for a meeting doesn't work? Move it

Don't rearrange your schedule so that's you're all over the place when the time for the meeting comes. You'll be more productive if you take the step to ask to reschedule a meeting that you just can't make.

2. Saying no

GUILTY! Whether it's a new work project, someone asking you to transform your income with their multilevel marketing scheme or someone asking you to take their EP on the street - you can say no. A great way to say no is "I need a minute to think about it".

3. Saying yes

Alternatively, we can talk ourselves out of really great opportunities. It's better to just give it a try then miss out. 

4. Asking for help

Asking for help can be seen as a sign of weakness, and that's probably by people are less likely to do it. Not giving a crap about what people think is a girlboss move in itself. Don't care about what people think about you - asking for help can help the job get done quicker.

5. Going places alone

Loving yourself is a girlboss move. Love yourself enough to take yourself out on dates  - or attend a professional networking event alone.

6. Putting your phone away

Even people always on the move need to take a break from it all. Take a minute or so a day to just be with yourself.

7. Staying OUT

I struggle with FOMO and YOLO. I'm actually a huge proponent on going out and having a fun time while you can - that's why I reserve my Saturdays and Sundays (or at least one of those days) for "something frivolous" as my middle school principal would say. 

I need to take my own advice on these way more. What's a girlboss move you've made lately?

There's a sharp difference between your teens and you 20's. You carry 19 years of experience: heartbreak, lost friends, broken plans, loss, and more. Of course, there is happy stuff. However, as younger people we are more doe-eyed and innocent. We are more likely to want to please everyone. Our friends are very important, so we're more likely to put them over our other priorities. Sneaking out the night before you have to be up at 5 AM for a road trip with your family may be a regular occurrence. 

However, the older you get, the thicker your skin becomes. After some let downs, the blow becomes easier. You also learn from it. Thankfully, through these experiences, we gain bring 19 years of lessons that protect us like an armor from the BS of the "real world". We also keep learning every day. Our 20s are just as a transformative time as our teens. Here are some lessons that should be in our lesson suit of armor:

1. You don't have to like everyone.

2. You don't have to go to EVERY party.

3. You don't always have to be "on".

4. Take time for yourself.

5. Take time for your family.

6. Don't put yourself in box.

7. The only person you need to impress is yourself.

8. Don't waste your time in a relationship or friendship that isn't benefitting you.

9. There's no set rule on putting your friends or your relationship first. It depends on the situation, the friendship, and the relationship.

10. Life is all a balancing act.

11. Balance isn't about everything getting equal attention. It's about knowing when to make something a priority and when to leave something for another time.

12. Save at least some money

13. Don't be afraid to splurge or "treat yo self" every once in a while.

14. Eating is just like everything else, balance is key. Don't sweat eating unhealthy every once in a while, it feeds your soul.

15. Groupons, coupons, and BOGO are the holy trinity for a broke millenial and frugal 40 year old.

16. Don't be afraid to try something new.

17. Travel every chance you get. The older you get, the harder it will be to travel.

18. The only constant in life is change.

19. A friendship or relationship requires equal effort.

20. Honesty will get you farther than avoidance.

21. Being honest with yourself is the first step to being honest with others.

22. Learn to love yourself. Comparing yourself to others in a negative way can only bring about negativity. 

23. Surround yourself with positivity and positive people.

24. Think of the world as neutral. For example, social media is a neutral tool that people add good and bad connotations to, just like words.

25. Have a creative or spiritual outlet to go back to at the end of a stressful day, whether it's meditation, music, poetry, blogging, or whatever else.

26. If you don't have many, have at least one person you can tell ANYTHING to.

27. Chances are you can create that artisan decoration at pottery barn by yourself for cheaper.

28. Variety is the spice of life.

29. Go out of your way for someone every once in a while.

30. Go out of the way for yourself every once in a while. 

Being an optimist is like being in the minority of the House of Representatives. There's less like-minded people like you, at least visibly, and it's harder for you to get people to your school of thought. However, this is a cross I am happy to bear. I believe that optimists not only see the world in a more beautiful light, however, they also live a more beautiful life. A life full of more opportunity and enjoyment. A life full of color yet in grey because we see that not everything is black and white. A life not hung up on what other see, think, do and perceive about us.

I'm not saying that optimists are perfect. We acknowledge many comforting truths such as that no one is perfect. We usually aren't hung up on people thinking about what we do, but I still catch myself being hung up on it sometimes. Being an optimist doesn't make you immune to anxiety. I haven't been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, however I can definitely feel anxiety infringing on my life sometimes. 

To me, being an optimist is like having insect eyes. Insects see the same view hundreds of different ways at the same time.

This is how I view situations. Often, people bring their problems to me and I analyze the situation and make suggestions that they admit they've never thought of. Sometimes, they adapt the suggestions, sometimes they deny it and bring up another "barrier" or problem. To me, I don't see these "barriers" as "barriers" at all. I often ask them and myself, "Why do you even think that's a problem?" I know these reasons can be deeply rooted in insecurity or something of that nature. I'm not saying I'm not insecure, because I definitely can be sometimes.

To me, being an optimist means seeing all things as neutral things (words, constructs, objects) that we just give negative or positive connotations to. Social media is a neutral tool that some people can make evil and some people can make useful. Words are neutral words we make good or bad. Genders are neutral words that we associate certain things with in society, sometimes too strictly. 

Being an optimist is simply a change in language in and out of our minds. A change in language in our minds leads to a change in mindset, which leads to a change in the way we live our lives.  The language change can be simple. Block out phrases like "it'll never happen", "it's the end of the world", and "i'm screwed". Think outside the box.

As an optimist I question everything that is "set in stone" in our society. You can call it bending the rules, having it my way, having my cake and eating it too, or whatever else you want. I call it being an optimist.

How do you describe yourself, an optimist or pessimist?
How does it affect your life?

Not everyone is a morning person. I know most people feel like waking up at the last possible minute, throwing some clothes on, and running out the door, however that leads to irritability and unproductiveness. Waking up a tad bit earlier to dedicate some time to yourself and your physical and mental well-being would be a step in the right direction of starting your day off right. Not to sound like your mother, your mother's mother, and your mother's mother's mother, but breakfast is the most important meal of the day! If you skip breakfast, you'll only be focusing on how hungry you are during class, not the content. Here is what I do every morning to prepare myself for the day. If you don't do all of these, try implementing at least one!

1. Make yourself a nice breakfast

In the mornings, I like to treat myself to a wholesome breakfast of flaxseed waffles, greek yogurt with honey and fruit, or cereal. Treat yourself to whatever breakfast you like! If you're one of those people that can't eat too early and only grab a coffee, at least have a granola bar or a banana.. your potassium levels will thank you later!

2. Make yourself look great!

My roommate and I religiously follow the rule "dress well test well". I live and breathe by my mantra: if you're confident in your outfit, you're going to perform better in your classes, meetings, work, etc. "Look good, feel good" Either way you spin it, it's harder to fall asleep in dress pants and a button-down than in a sweatsuit. 

3. Look up mood-boosting Spotify playlist!

This is a new ritual as of this semester. I've recently become acquainted with Spotify because I love "collecting" music. The bigger my music library the better. Some people make origami and cookies.. I make playlists. I digress. Spotify has playlists for every genre and mood every time of the day. Every morning they feature playlists such as "Mood Booster", "Feel Good", "Happy Hipster", and "Acoustic Morning". Listening to them not only inform me of top hits and new songs, but also boosts my mood in the morning.

4. Be a little productive

If I have time in the morning, I either do a little blogging, schedule out tweets, talk on blogger network pages, or maybe even do some homework. My favorite mornings are when I get a good run in, get a coffee, and do a few errands. I feel like a "real adult."

It can  be hard to leave your comfy bed sometimes. How do you pump yourself up in the mornings?