black bean salsa

Easy and Delicious Weeknight Taco Recipe for When You'd Rather Drink Your Own Tears Than Cook Dinner

November 05, 2017

Hi friends! Let's be honest and real here. When we get home, we're ravenous. We would rather eat the closest available foot than break out a sauce pan and boil some water. I know for a fact that it's not just me. Isn't that why they invented Amy's pad thai?

However, why microwave mediocre rice noodles when you can have TACO BOATS! That's right... boats that are tacos. Meaty and cheesy goodness floating on a sea of salsa. Okay, maybe not like that. Thanks to Old El Paso's Old El Paso Soft Tortilla Taco Boat Dinner Kit it was easier than ever to whip up some taco boats after the gym this Wednesday night.

Actual picture of me thinking about making dinner last night after the gym. Why is it blurry? Because I CAN'T HANDLE LIFE OKAY!

I wanted something quick and delicious. I didn't want to be basic and microwave something, however. Then, I remembered that Old El Paso was nice enough to let me try their Old El Paso Soft Tortilla Taco Boat Dinner Kit! I remembered that I bought some chipotle-marinated chicken from Whole Foods last Friday.

The flavorful combination for my Wednesday night dinner: marinated chicken, Brandless black bean and corn salsa, peppers and onions, Frank's red hot, and a Old El Paso Soft Tortilla Taco Boat Dinner Kit.


Mexican food is one of my favorite pastimes, I would definitely say that I have it too much. What's easier than rice, beans, veggies and sauces,  I thought? Nothing! That is the ONLY ANSWER!


I let these ingredients simmer in the taco sauce that came with the taco boats until the veggies were tender and the meat was cooked. The next step is insultingly easy - place the filling the taco boats and top with salsa and cheese. A fun trick that I was too hungry to try was toasting the flour taco boats for an extra bit of crispiness that a corn shell would give you. Let me know if you try it!


Yes, those are tears of joy. Dinner alas, at 8:30PM.

 

This is an actual picture of me post-tacos. Look at her, she's glowing. Her brows are filled, her hair is wavy, she's serving business casual looks, and she's smiling. She hasn't smiled in years. She hasn't smiled that wide since Hilary Duff dropped Metamorphosis.

You're probably (not) wondering the recipe for this genius and intricate recipe.


Ingredients

2. 1/2 chicken breast, marinated how you like
3. 1/3 an onion
4. 1/2 a green pepper
5. Old El Paso taco Sauce
6. Shredded cheese

Steps
1. Sautee pepper, onion chicken and taco sauce in a pan on medium heat until veggies are soft and chicken is cooked
2. Place the above mixture into the taco bowls
3. Top with Brandless salsa, a dash of frank's red hot and a sprinkle of cheese.
Materials for this blog post were provided free of charge by Old El Paso.


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brand new

I declare Chilis as the "Most Meme-ed" Chain Restraunt

October 23, 2017

       Yes, I just made "meme-ed" a verb. In this case, however, it is appropriate. Whether it's the internet meme-ing the restaurant, or the place talking back, the chain is very vocal to the millennial generation. It makes me want to say "Hi, welcome to Chilis!"


      Honestly, not sure if this blog post is making me hungry or miss Vine. It's making me do both, but I'm not sure what I'm feeling more. I'm not entirely sure why it's making me hungry, however, because Chilis is mediocre at best. Don't come for me Chilis stans, please. I will admit - I am a food snob. I prefer something more classy... like Not Your Average Joes.

      Now that I've ended my cravings for sugar margaritas and lava cakes, I want to discuss the best conversation that Chilis has had with the public on the internet: their great debate over their favorite Brand New album. For those of you non-emo kids (I'll never grow out of my phase, Mom!), Brand New is a rock band that has been around since the year 2000, and is still pumping out BOPS.

According to Alternative Press, the interaction all began with this innocent tweet from a curious customer:

      I don't blame him for being curious. The musical tastes of my favorite chain restaurants are very important to me as well! This tweet, they responded that they liked both. Very political and PR of them...

Next, a customer asked what their favorite album was, and they said it was "Your Favorite Weapon", leaving out the "r" in your as a typo. 
At this point, they're going back and forth with fans, defending their choice and asking fans when they started listening to the band. I've seen brands have philosophical conversations with fans of many bands, TV shows and more on social media. This leads me to believe, do social media teams of of these brands have an on-hand pop culture expert? Is Wendy's hiring a pop punk expert? Why Wendy's you ask... have you HAD their fries?

Next, Chilis ranked their favorite albums, and fans LOST IT.  Did they expect to rank albums of a well-known band and not polarize the audience?  The newest thing to add to all social handbooks for brands? Do NOT rank albums.


Unless you're a competitor of course. Fans started asking for Applebees, TGI Fridays and Dennys for their opinion. This is a no-brainer. Give the people what they want to hear, and the tattooed customers in skinny jorts will run in. 


In case anyone was wondering, which you're definitely not, my ranking of Brand New albums mirror's Alternative Press's choices:

1. TDAGARIM
2. Deja Intendu
3. Science Fiction
4. YFW
5. Daisy


What's your lineup of Brand New albums?

Hey you - don't forget that the world is garbage, and we all need a reminder that' we're going to be ok! Sign up for the Half Full Newsletter to get a weekly reminder that good news and puppies still exist!

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baby animals

Just Some Good News

October 16, 2017

This world is going to hell in a hand basket. I'm stuck in the dichotomy of wanting to stay updated on the news, but also being majorly depressed by the news. The depressing news is just a byproduct of the sad world we live in. What if there we just, for one blog post, or newsletter, focused on some uplifting stories? For every blog post like this, there's a million negative ones. After reading these positive hot takes, you can go back down your rabbit hole of depressing news stories about our impending doom. Fun!

1. Malala Yousafzai Nearly Died For Girls’ Education. Today, She Started At Oxford

photo credit: HuffPost

Found on the Huffington Post good news section, Malala Yousafi is starting her education at Oxford, just five years after she got shot in the head for standing up for education for girls. That's the best kind of irony there.



Enjoy this video of this cat screaming for pure joy when its owner comes home. Why does it seems like its always surprised when its owner finds it? It's DEAF! Doesn't that make it ever cuter? It's ELATED to see its owner for the first time when they come home. This video makes me as happy as that cat is when its owner comes home.

3.  Finding your rap name has never been easier

Photo Cred: PizzaBottle
I first saw this meme was in a Facebook group I'm in for a pop culture podcast. Now, I'm seeing it everywhere. I saw this meme first the morning after a "thirsty thursday", so my rap name is Young Vodka Cranberry. I love it already.

3. Canada introduced gender-neutral passports

Photo credit: The Guardian


As if I didn't need another reason to want to move to Canada....

5. This article, where we find out with parents are the MOST savage, exists

photo credit

You may start rethinking everything your parents say to you.


Wouldn't it be nice if there was a newsletter that's just good news? Well, there will be. To combat this awful world me live in, I'm starting a newsletter called Half Full, that is a curation of good news, memes, reader "stories" and of course, baby animals. Subscribe here to get the inaugural issue.




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AIM

6 Awkwardly Relatable Memories from AIM

October 09, 2017

Where were you the day that AIM shut down? The official end date is December 15, 2017, but they announced the end in October 2017.  I was sitting at my desk, at my adult job, already feeling the  feels of my youth that is slipping away. (I LOVE my job - don't get me wrong.) There's just something weird about achieving that "thing" you've been getting prepared for since birth, essentially, amirite?

I was in my "feels", as the kids would say, because there was a national conference for the organization that I poured my heart and soul into during my undergrad - PRSSA - that day in Boston, and it was my first year not attending as a student. Then, this tweet came on my timeline and the falling rocks of my feels avalanched:
Did they really have to say "all good things come to an end" Right in front of my salad? More like right in front of the tears I cry while my youth slowly slips away from me, under the ballet flats I traded in my high-top Vans for?


To end the era, they are running a "AIM Memories" campaign. In their recent blog post, they encapsulated the exact experiences we can relate to when it comes to the era in which the way we communicated with our friends changed. AIM was the original group chat. What would 13-year-old you say if you told them you could have group Snapchats now? I would say, "You know I can't snap, stop making fun of me!"

However, the next cultural shift may be upon us soon - and AOL may be behind it! In their blog post, they left this cryptic message:

"We are more excited than ever to continue building the next generation of iconic brands and life-changing products for users around the world."

Take that as you may, but I'll be waiting around for the next thing from AOL now. To commemorate this loss, I'll be reminiscing my cringiest moment from that era. I'll be reliving the phenomenon that happens when you combine new technology and raging hormones. Please join me in the comments, by leaving your fondest and most awkward AIM memories!

1. Making up a fake boyfriend
Okay, bear with me here. Everyone had a date for their significant other in their profile. I was a hopeless, ugly teenager. I did what I had to do - just so I could have a date in my profile like everyone else.

2. Getting rejected by my crush
I messaged me crush in AIM (after finally working up the courage),only for him to tell me to to never, ever do it again the next day in religion class.

3. Getting banned from chatrooms constantly
Those chatrooms have tricky rules. They didn't let your username include your school name, or "bubble butt", unfair right? My mom would spend her nights in the phone with AOL, trying to redeem my account and her faith in me.

4. Secret Spammers
Friday nights were time for AIM. Before we grew to be awkward teenagers at the mall, we were middle schoolers on AIM. There was a group of the kids in may grade who would enter a group chat, immediately spam, then get kicked out by AOL for spamming. Not only was this annoying, but it also broke up the conversation. What if I was just in the middle of getting the hot middle school goss?

5. Is this a...?
Myself and two others of my classmates were usually the only two online at the wee hours of 11PM - I know, so late. Part of it was FOMO for me, and part of the was being in love with the male classmates who stayed. The complicated part was that the girl classmate, and friend of mine (who still is my friend, you know who you are!), was also in love with him - even more than me. Looking back, I don't blame this boy for staying awake and chatting with these two girls who were fawning over him.

6. Is 5 screen names over doing it?
Yes, five. I had three screen names: NTV823, iCKYNiKKi823, AEROGURL87,  TrackxTragedy and ShakexxIt87. Granted, not all of them were active at once. There as absolutely no point in having multiple screen names. Why did we do this? I only confused people.


7. The colorful jacket gang
You best believe I brought my middle school's politics online. I've been stirring the pot on the internet since I popped out of the womb, starting with trolling Lizzie McGuire's outfits on the Disney Channel website. Also, please do NOT start with me about how I no longer recognize the shows on there. There's a Tangled series? Anywho, the girls who claimed themselves to be popular all happened to have the same color North Face and South Pole jackets - black - so they called themselves the "black jacket gang". Being the voice for the bourgeoisie  since middle school, I took a stance on this unjust monopoly. In rainbow letters, I put "COLORFUL JACKET GANG" in my AIM profile. THAT THAT POPULAR GIRLS!

I'd love to her your stories, please comment them below, or feel free to tweet me! Don't forget to subscribe to the newsletter as well for updates.





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being alone

I DON'T MIND BEING ALONE, OKAY?

September 24, 2017

I don't mind being alone, damnit! I'm an only child, alright? I don't have a "thing" where I'm scared to be alone. I'd just rather drive alone sometimes so I can zone out to a podcast and not have the chance of someone playing something on the aux that makes me wanna choke on a pool stick.

Don't be worried for me, I'll be fine alone. It's bad enough eww have to share this intolerable life with other humans.

Okay, I'll admit some of that was a front. I love love love my friends and family and boyfriend, I miss them the moment I leave them. I'm a weak person, like we all are. I have a heart.

You know how some people are an introvert and some are an extrovert? I think I'm somewhere in the middle. Being around people doesn't drain me.. dealing with dumb people do. I wouldn't say it charges me up, however. It doesn't charge me up like a box of spinach and feta cheesy bread from dominos at 2AM, or people watching and counting how many un-ironic visors I see in a crowd. 

One time I went to half of a day of a music festival alone, which I will admit - It wasn't intentional. I had just signed the offer letter on my first full time job, so I felt like irresponsibly draining my savings. "Nevermind a security deposit on my first place, mama's going to Boston Calling", I said!

I said "Chance the Rapper, the 1975, and awkwardly dodging strangers and golf carts for 48 hours? I'm in!!"

The possibility of taking an acid tab instead of an ibruprohein?? I'm in!!

My view from the muddy crowd to see Chance the Rapper. It was worth all the mud.
I was young and naive.. a few short months ago.. and I figured a few people I knew would be there! My friends excitedly saying "YASSS" in the group chat means they're definitely going in this screen-driven, terminator-esque world we live in where we can't communicate correctly.

My unintentional self-love date was Saturday. Luckily enough, Phoebe Robinson and Hannibal Buress were performing at the comedy tent that night.

A few takeaways I got from this experience, as I was sitting in the Harvard Athletic Complex, getting AstroTurf in my underwear, popping bubbles laced with who knows what, surrounded by millennials dancing and waiting for Chocolate by the 1975 to finally come on are:

  1. There are way too many people populating this earth
  2. Musical festivals are mostly getting there, waiting in line, and trying to find ways to avoid lines
  3. A real thing that can happen is: a family being taken to the hospital after getting too high from an edible
  4. What you don't see on Instagram is the physical and mental turmoil that is simply being alive
  5. Even if the band is your favorite and you know every word, something about the distorted speakers and background noise makes it really hard to sing along
Besides that, it was totally worth it. I'm making it sound worse for comedy purposes, it really was a great solo date night, and I recommend we all take ourselves on dates - intentional or not - more often. We need to take ourselves on dates more often and get to know ourselves.


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amy schumer

My First Stand-Up Experience

September 24, 2017

My first stand-up experience was in a church basement at a talent show to raise money for a catholic teen conference... and no, that wasn't a joke in my set. It was my reality.

Everyone has to start somewhere. I just have a hard time believing that Amy Schumer got her big start in a church basement and ended it with a prayer. It's still weird for me to even say this is my "start", however, since stand up comedy and comedy writing has always been a latent dream of mine that has only recently floated to the surface of my consciousness. I wonder what other kinds of crazy stuff I have repressed. 


It wasn't until I saw this gem of a picture of me doing my set in the church bulletin (bottom, dead center), that I could actually envision this dream becoming a reality. Side note - why do all pictures of comics portray them as somewhat leaning into the crowd and shrugging. It's like their body language is saying "just please laugh at this joke so I don't hate myself as much later."

I decided to do this set on a whim - how I usually make all of the big decisions in my life. I've decided to switch majors, break up with past exes, start a blog (ha..haha..haahaa..HA), interview for an internship in Seattle, and many more huge life decisions on a whim! At the same time, catch me at your local Starbucks going back and forth between a green tea latte and a white mocha for an hour.

It was a great whim decision, however. After doing the set, I felt like I had just done something I really loved. Hearing the audience actually laugh at my uncomfortable and self deprecating humor made me feel so good. My friend's little sister actually said "Nikki, I think you found your calling". Never being sure of myself (ie the green tea vs. white mocha crisis), I took her outsider opinion very seriously.

So began the presumptively tumultuous senior year of college, where I took final steps towards a degree that I love, and loosely related to comedy writing and entertainment, and seeing how I could fit my passions for being both behind and in front of the scenes into one job post-graduation. 

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college

12 Times I've Been Human Garbage

October 09, 2016

In today's society, we focus on being perfect too much. We build ourselves up through the veil of Instagram feeds and Facebook statuses of achievements. It's important, however, to remind ourselves of the times we were literal human trash. Being human trash - I'm sure many of you are familiar with the concept - can consist of many things. It can consist of not getting out of bed until 5 PM only to answer the Thai delivery guy at the door. It can consist of taking an illegal U-Turn in the middle of rush hour. Sometimes we can't help but be literal garbage. Sometimes, you have to be at your boyfriend's soccer game at 2 PM and you forgot your condoms and teeth whitening strips at home. So, you naturally decide to haphazardly bang a U-Turn and drive exactly 9 miles above the speed limit, weaving through traffic of course, to get home. Why did you need condoms and teeth whitening strips? Because you're literal garbage.

giphy

1. Today, I walked out the "in" door at Stop-N-Shop and confused an old man just looking for some overpriced groceries.
2. This week, I stole a girl's sheet music in class and sent her into FULL crisis mode
3. This weekend, I heavily drank three nights in a row, and didn't get out of bed until 1 on both Saturday and Sunday
4. On Friday, I skipped chorus half because I was too hungover, and half because I was too embarrassed to face the girl who I stole music from 
5. The fact that I can name 4 times in the past 4 days, off the top of my head, shows that I'm literal garbage
6. Whenever I'm bored from doing homework or something productive, I find myself looking at my own Facebook page. This happens at least three times a day
7. I always pull out halfway in the road when taking a left turn. My boyfriend calls this the "typical Masshole move"
8.  Speaking of a "masshole move", not to mention all the times I've shifted lanes without really checking if there was a car behind me.
9. My friend was being chased by a scary clown, she tripped and fell out of her shoes and I laughed before I even knew that she was okay. 
10. Even though I worked in retail for years, I still don't put back all of the things I move in stores.
11. I'm almost banned at a local liquor store for bringing an underage person in.
12. Speaking of being almost banned, I used my broken student ID card at the gym for six months, and made the workers type in my number by hand every time, because I was too lazy to get a new one. I finally got a new one after they said I wasn't going to be allowed back if I didn't get a new one. Icing on the cake? I actually ended up losing the card at a bar the night before I got a new one. 


See? Deep down, we're all just literal garbage.


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