I DON'T MIND BEING ALONE, OKAY?

September 24, 2017

I don't mind being alone, damnit! I'm an only child, alright? I don't have a "thing" where I'm scared to be alone. I'd just rather drive alone sometimes so I can zone out to a podcast and not have the chance of someone playing something on the aux that makes me wanna choke on a pool stick.

Don't be worried for me, I'll be fine alone. It's bad enough eww have to share this intolerable life with other humans.

Okay, I'll admit some of that was a front. I love love love my friends and family and boyfriend, I miss them the moment I leave them. I'm a weak person, like we all are. I have a heart.

You know how some people are an introvert and some are an extrovert? I think I'm somewhere in the middle. Being around people doesn't drain me.. dealing with dumb people do. I wouldn't say it charges me up, however. It doesn't charge me up like a box of spinach and feta cheesy bread from dominos at 2AM, or people watching and counting how many un-ironic visors I see in a crowd. 

One time I went to half of a day of a music festival alone, which I will admit - It wasn't intentional. I had just signed the offer letter on my first full time job, so I felt like irresponsibly draining my savings. "Nevermind a security deposit on my first place, mama's going to Boston Calling", I said!

I said "Chance the Rapper, the 1975, and awkwardly dodging strangers and golf carts for 48 hours? I'm in!!"

The possibility of taking an acid tab instead of an ibruprohein?? I'm in!!

My view from the muddy crowd to see Chance the Rapper. It was worth all the mud.
I was young and naive.. a few short months ago.. and I figured a few people I knew would be there! My friends excitedly saying "YASSS" in the group chat means they're definitely going in this screen-driven, terminator-esque world we live in where we can't communicate correctly.

My unintentional self-love date was Saturday. Luckily enough, Phoebe Robinson and Hannibal Buress were performing at the comedy tent that night.

A few takeaways I got from this experience, as I was sitting in the Harvard Athletic Complex, getting AstroTurf in my underwear, popping bubbles laced with who knows what, surrounded by millennials dancing and waiting for Chocolate by the 1975 to finally come on are:

  1. There are way too many people populating this earth
  2. Musical festivals are mostly getting there, waiting in line, and trying to find ways to avoid lines
  3. A real thing that can happen is: a family being taken to the hospital after getting too high from an edible
  4. What you don't see on Instagram is the physical and mental turmoil that is simply being alive
  5. Even if the band is your favorite and you know every word, something about the distorted speakers and background noise makes it really hard to sing along
Besides that, it was totally worth it. I'm making it sound worse for comedy purposes, it really was a great solo date night, and I recommend we all take ourselves on dates - intentional or not - more often. We need to take ourselves on dates more often and get to know ourselves.




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